???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Can we stop saying, “stay at home moms”? My family had five kids, two dogs, two parents and a grandmother in one house. My dad owned a business, and my mom was a “stay at home mom.” Are you kidding? Stay at home mom implies she was not doing much. I watched my “stay at home mom” and she was:

  • Nanny: got five fiercely independent kids up and off to school on time to different schools. Arranged time with friends, different friends, of course.
  • Buyer, cook, chef and dishwasher: Made sure there were three meals a day for seven people and constant snacking. Dad barbecued on weekends.
  • Accountant, Bookkeeper & controller: managed the household expenses, paid the bills, managed a budget and the endless requests for funds from five kids.
  • Property manager: responsible for the home, janitorial services, and yard maintenance. Dad helped on weekends.
  • Laundress: Washed, dried, ironed, folded and mended sheets, towels and clothes for five dirty kids and a perfectly groomed husband.
  • Driver: We lived in the country so getting anywhere was a drive. Five kids with trips to school activities (three different schools), doctor and dentist appointments, shopping for our endless needs and endless visits to friends and sources of entertainment.
  • Housekeeper and Maid: She honestly tried to keep our bedrooms in order, as well as, four bathrooms and five common areas.
  • Educator: taught each of us what we needed to know to be successful with our homework; attended teacher meetings and parent nights in three different schools
  • Counselor: listened when everything seemed wrong and provided wise counsel that made it all ok with lots of hugs and wiping away the tears day or night.
  • EMT: Gave first aid as emergency services were far away.
  • Pet Sitter: Fed, groomed and cared for dogs and other creatures we brought home. The pet raccoon almost drove her over the edge.
  • Mediator: A skill that she made a science of with five kids eager to fight with each other at every opportunity.
  • Health Care Advisor: Nutrition, health care and wellness expert who imparted good health habits in her kids.
  • Interior Designer & Feng Shui Expert: Made sure the home we lived in was beautiful and felt like a place we loved being.
  • Religious Leader: Taught us about God, took us to church and how to pray. She was active in church activities and taught us how to give of our time. Where did she find the time?
  • Gardener: made sure our home was beautiful on the outside as well.

And I am sure that I missed a lot because I know she worked 16-hour days, seven days a week. If that is a stay at home mom, then we need to change the term. My larger question is, “Who is doing this now?” With women working full-time jobs, raising kids and managing a family, how do they do it?   I did it but to be honest I do not remember how and I know I did not do it as well.

“Stay at home mom” does not cover it.  It is an enormous responsibility that many women embrace and their families’ benefit beyond measure.