Only recently have I become aware of how much we (women) undervalue ourselves. Even if successful, confident and driven I will bet that you still undervalue yourself but that is changing as we grow in our understanding of our value in a new paradigm.
Owning Our Value
As women perhaps how we perceive our value is just fine but in the world of success it is not always working in our favor. In the past five years there is a growing interest in understanding professional women and women business owners. We are becoming a force in the economy and leaders with influence. That is good for everyone but do we own our value. Are we being measured in comparison to how men see their value?
Differences Between Men and Women
Recent gender equity studies comparing men and women find that men tend to over value themselves, exaggerate their capabilities, over-state their successes and present exaggerated expectations to receive recognition, compensation or funding. Sounds horrible but that is how the game has been played for a very long time.
A recent study addressing why men have more access to capital and market opportunities stated that men tend to be more competitive, are more aggressive negotiators, are comfortable overstating their capabilities and have greater expectations for compensation, funding, recognition, etc.
A Women’s Way of Being
This same study state that women enter places of leadership and success with an entirely different perspective on how they value themselves. Women tend to accurately assess their capabilities, to underestimate what they are capable of, only make promises they are 100% sure they can meet and are, in general, more modest in their expectations.
As we know not all women share these values and some are quite comfortable operating in careers and businesses using male values but that is not the majority by far.
Who’s Way Is Right?
As I have conversions with business, spiritual and political leaders around these issues I wonder if women have to change how we are. Do we want the same things men have traditionally expected as professionals and business owners? Do the values we hold bring a new perspective to the world of success? Are the ways in which we hold our value offer a new way of being in the world? Is it time for our perspective rather than finding ways for women to fit into the current culture of success?
As everyone rushes to call foul, that women are being discriminated against (and in some ways we are) and that the world needs to give us the same opportunities and compensation the men have, I wonder. Another way to look at this is women bring a new perspective, one that is healthy, balanced and fair. We don’t seek multimillion dollar compensation and stock options as the CEO of a failing company or when the company is cutting salaries of the staff. We don’t try to work the system to improve our own status in the company, agency or organization at the expense of others. We don’t manipulate our books to present a better financial picture to our stakeholders. You may say this assessment is not fair, but the examples of this are too numerous to ignore. These are old ways in which business and government have gone astray from core values and with disastrous results.
Equality Has Many Faces
Of course we want equal access and opportunity but do we want to fit into the current culture to advance our careers, gain access to capital, get our fair share of the market and contracts. Do we really want to be part of the 1% in business and disregard the whole? These are not feminine values. We are focused on success but in a new way.
In the End
In the end I see our gender differences as essential to create a new culture of business, one that is values based, promotes the success of individuals as well as the whole, a culture that supports collaboration and good will. These are dramatic changes and ones that will only come from feminine values, values that both men and women can hold. We have to bring them forward without fear or uncertainty. We have to hold the value, our value, as creators of change.
Our challenge is to see the value of the feminine way of being. To see the greater value we have in changing our world. We do not have to fit in. We just have to step in. Owning our value means showing the values we hold as women and know the power we have to make changes.
I truly hope that women continue to bring their feminine values and perspective to their families, communities and work as they create success. We will create change not by adjusting to the world as it is but by bringing in a women’s perspective to balance that world. Step in and own your value.
Best wishes on your success, Kay