My intuitive and feminist sides are not inconsistent and, in fact, work together to create a change I desire to see more women to be leaders. The performance evaluation evidence being presented in gender bias trial of Ellen Pao fires up my feminist side.
There is a range of gender bias issues in Ellen’s case though none is as disturbing as the performance evaluation evidence. This evidence reflects a perspective that impacts most employed women. Perhaps this is why growing numbers of women are leaving jobs and starting their own business.
In short, performance evaluations are gender biased. This is not new information and researchers have known this for a very long time but not much has changed. There has not been a change because there is a large group agreement on how women should be – sweet, kind and gentle!
Group agreements of any kind represent a strong energy. The strongest group agreement in any situation controls the space. Therein lies the problem. Too many people, and I did not say men, have a biased perspective on women and especially in the workplace. Women should be sweet, kind and gentle! They can be other things, but they must be this at their core. Clearly a handful of women have worked their way through this bias but they are the exception.
Ellen’s case is such a good example because I have seen this same perspective over and again with other women. Ellen’s performance reviews say she was territorial, has “sharp elbows”, poor interpersonal skills and her own agenda. Clearly she was not being sweet, kind and gentle. Three promoted male colleagues had performance evaluations with similar terms to Ellen’s, but were perceived differently. One promoted male colleague was described as “highly aggressive and opinionated which isn’t a bad thing per se”. Another was described as territorial, quite rough on the team, and had a tendency to get frustrated with the team. Women are clearly held to different standards. I call it the “sweet, kind and gentle” standard.
Studies show that women are held to higher standards than men in the workplace. One study found that 8.9 percent of male reviews included critical feedback while 87.9 percent for women and most were personal criticisms. The term abrasive appeared 17 times in reviews of 13 women and not once for men in the sample. I guess we are not sweet, kind and gentle enough!
A young woman, Kara, who was a rising star in her new company. She came with a lot of experience for being so young and had a lot to offer. The manager of her office, she found, was incompetent. This got in the way of her being able to offer the critical skills she was hired for by the corporate office. Her first performance evaluation said her skills were great but that she was pushy, too self-assured and not a team player. Translation, not sweet, kind and gentle enough, stop rocking the boat, and your manager has been here a long time so don’t make him look bad. As a result, Kara, has backed down. She keeps to herself and is looking for a new job but is that the answer. Kara will find another job, but she is such a strong, capable, smart young woman who chances are she will run into gender bias again. Gender bias does not exist in any one company. It is in ALL companies.
So how do we change the game. Talking and writing about gender bias brings it out of the old boy closet and into the light. Creating our group agreement that is stronger than the old boys club perspective of women is essential. Preparing our daughters and us for gender bias so that we are not blind-sided and know how to hold their value and their space in these circumstances.
In our jobs and businesses, be honest with ourselves. Do we unconsciously hold gender bias? How do we react to strong women who are not being sweet, kind and gentle? It is not possible to be in this culture and not be influenced by the bias that exists so exploring our internal bias is essential.
Finally, let’s create a strong group agreement of our own. A group agreement is a powerful energy that creates change. Can we get into agreement that it is ok for women to be more than the past time feminine picture of a trophy woman?
By the way, I do not have a problem with being sweet, kind and gentle if we choose but don’t tell me how I have to be. There is so much more that we are and that we can be so give us space to be. We will all be richer for it.