A young woman contacted me to discuss how she is experiencing her work. Kathy is a young woman determined to succeed. Recently promoted to a management position after being at the company only a few months seemed like a golden opportunity. She is a rising star because she is a systems expert. Kathy came into a new hub for a national company that was not performing. From her perspective this was because it had no systems to manage all the moving parts of the business. Kathy set out to put systems in place thinking her hard work and expertise would be appreciated and recognized. She worked hard knowing how it would benefit the company and their customers.
What she found is her expertise intimidated a not very competent general manager. He felt threatened. The improved performance of the hub was noticed by the corporate office. What has they done to make everything turn around? The GM proudly stated that he had put systems in place and got a bonus!
This is when Kathy called me. She was mad, hurt, frustrated and did not know what to do. She does not want to do anymore work afraid the GM will take credit. Kathy was not given any credit for the work she had done. She did not get a bonus. Let’s cry foul because we feel this is not fair. Fairness is rarely the standard in most businesses. Kathy’s situation is not new. It has happened to all of us at one time or another.
As women in business we have to learn a new way of being that protects and supports our goals in the business environment. Whether we like it or not it is common for a boss to think that appreciation and validation is sufficient for a woman doing a good job. It is common for bosses not to even think of giving a woman a bonus or a raise. Why is that? They and us are programmed to expect women to give more than they receive. We cannot blame them instead we have to learn another way of being that helps us achieve our goals. We have to think and act differently.
That begins with being strategic not emotional though we are emotional beings and that is a good thing. There is a time and place for both but not at the same time. So when Kathy called we both spent the first few minutes letting the emotion of unfairness and feeling like a victim come out then we moved on to create a strategy to get Kathy to the place she wanted to be in this company.
Because she heard the GM say to corporate that he wrote the systems, Kathy did not want to hold a grudge so she decided to have clear communication with her GM. She told him in a non-confrontation manner that she heard him take credit for her work. She had no expectation of his response. She just felt the need to say it in order to clear the air in their communication.
Secondly, she decided not to complain that the GM got a raise for the work she did. Instead she began to create a strategy for her upcoming performance evaluation that is to occur in the next few weeks. Kathy wants to clearly state her contributions, her ideas to improve the performance of the hub, ask for honest assessment of her work and ask for a raise without guild or emotion. Kathy is ready to take ownership of her position in the company rather than expect that people will notice her good work and reward her. Recognition and reward is rarely on the level we want. We have to know our value and ask for what we want and expect. Expecting to be valued at a new level is hard for women. We tend to give more than we receive.
This is a change in the way that we think as women, the way we are programmed to be and our energy as well. It is in our nature to nurture. Men are likewise programmed to accept nurturing and being taken care of by women. This makes change challenging for all. The change begins with us. A starting point is meditation. From the space of quiet can we imagine being a new way in our work place. How do we want to be? Can we imagine being that way? Through meditation we change our thinking, programming and energy. When we can feel the change others will experience it as well.
Taking ownership and directing the path of our success is our responsibility not our boss or anyone else. This means having a strategic plan on how to grow our success. Take the time to reflect on your vision of success and your plan to get there.
Best wishes on your success, Kay
If you would like help creating your plan just let me know.