This weekend a group of smart, capable women will join my fall Women Achieving Goals retreat. I have led getaway retreats for women since 1995 and have learned from the decisions I see women make about their future.
What do you choose?
Most interesting is the struggle to decide how far to go toward their vision of success. There are the obvious next steps, the more or less easier choice. This choice is easier because it follows the path they are already on so the question becomes, “How do I take another step?” The other choice is to spend time while on retreat to consider whether to stay the course or pursue their passion. For some women who stay the course, it may be in doing something they are passionate already. The more difficult choice comes for women who are not doing what they are passionate about. Perhaps they are doing something they do well. Therein lies the dilemma.
Pursuing our passion can take great courage. I have hundreds of stories of women who had the courage to turn in a new direction successfully. I also have hundreds of stories of women who just could not muster the courage to create the change they desire. Perhaps the difference is with their core.
Courage
Courage comes from the Latin word cor which means heart. The original use of the word courage means to stand by one’s core. Living from our center or our core gives us the courage to feel, see, accept, and heal and to be. In the retreat this weekend the women will meditate, go within and connect to their core. In this way, they may find the courage to create in the world from their core. I am anxious to see how creating from their core changes how they see their next step.
Shelby
I could tell you a story about any of the hundreds of women I have met who have demonstrated courage, but I would rather tell you another story. It is about my granddaughter who is the most courageous person I know and at such a young age.
Shelby was born with a rare heart condition, Ebstein malformation. We all knew from her birth that several surgeries were inevitable. The doctors did not want to do the first surgery any sooner than necessary though given the degree of her condition they expected surgery sooner than later. Well, as it turned out Shelby was stronger and more determined than anyone expected, so she did not have that surgery until this summer at the age of six.
Shelby’s courage showed early. She was never reckless, quite the opposite. She was thoughtful yet determined to try anything she thought she could not do. I held my breath many times as she insisted, “Amma, I can do it!” as she tried and tried until she could do the impossible. I recall her standing at the base of a very high play gym at the age of three saying she could climb up high and get down all by herself. Deep breath. Trust. She did – carefully, thoughtfully and determined.
While Shelby knew she had a special doctor, who she adored, she did not know she had a heart condition. What she did know was she could not keep up with her friends and cousins, and she turned blue if she tried.
This summer at the age of six, doctors encouraged her parents to have the surgery now and not risk an expected arrhythmia. Experts advised her parents not to tell Shelby too soon about the scheduled surgery. Five days before they were to fly to Boston for the surgery Shelby was told the story of her heart and the plan for open heart surgery. Shelby asked tough questions, was quiet and for the next five days I watched that same thoughtful, careful determination I had come to know.
On the day they were to leave for the airport at 4 am, Shelby dressed, went out into the dark on her own, got into the car and waited. I found her there sitting quietly. I asked how she was doing. Shelby said, “They are going to fix my heart.” At that moment, I could see her core, courage and determination.
She demonstrated that courage over and over again during the next four weeks she was in Boston. During that time, I continued my work-coaching women and found myself becoming impatient with those who were weak of spirit. That is not a good thing to say but honest nonetheless. If a six-year-old could be so brave, couldn’t we all?
Shelby loves that her heart is fixed. She can breathe better and keep up with her friends and cousins. It changed my life to see someone have so much courage. As I move forward working with women on their vision for their life, I am watching their core, their heart, their courage and helping them to connect to their core as they move forward creating what they are passionate about. Life is too short to do otherwise.